~ FORGIVENESS ~
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Forgiveness for ourselves
is the journey from guilt
over what we have done or not done
to the celebration of what we have become.
Dr. Joan Borysenko
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Steps 8 and 9 are very important to our
recovery from compulsive eating. The 8th
Step says that we need to make a list of
those people we have harmed because of
our disease, and to be willing to make
amends to them.
The 9th Step says that we need to make
direct amends to those people, if
possible.
I would never condemn a sick person for
being sick, yet I was ready to level
blame at myself for being a compulsive
overeater. I was mentally cruel to
myself.
I abused my physical body with food and
excess weight. While working Step 8, I
needed to realize that I didn’t hurt
just my family or friends when I was
deep in my disease. I had to understand
that I hurt myself as well. I said and
did things that I’m not proud of because
I didn’t know that I had a disease of
compulsion. I had to place myself at the
top of my amends list.
Some of the ways I can work Step 9
include remembering that I am a good
person who just happens to be sick with
a potentially fatal disease of
compulsion. If I can remember that I am
sick, then I won’t add more pain to what
the disease already heaps on me. I can
remember that a slip in abstinence is
just that...a slip. It doesn’t reflect
on my worth as a human being. I can be
gentle with myself whenever times are
rough. I can lean more on my Higher
Power, so that I don’t have to depend
upon my own unsteady willpower. I can
forgive myself for the past pain I’ve
caused myself and resolve not to hurt
myself any more.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I give myself the gift of forgiveness and amends.