Recovery Meditations ~ Risk ~ One Day at a Time ~ September 7, 2010

~ RISK ~

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"And the day came when the risk to

remain tight in the bud was more painful

than the risk it took to blossom."

Anais Nin

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I think that many people, like myself,

come into Twelve Step Programs out of

desperation. I had just begun to realize

that the price I was paying to continue

eating compulsively was way too

high. For me, I noticed I was a very

distracted and impatient mother. I saw

my children getting more and more out of

control because I had neither the time

nor the energy to discipline myself, let

alone them. I started to wonder what

kind of lives I was training them to

live. I saw my husband disappear more

and more into books and work, and

retreating from me. My body was

beginning to rebel against what I was

doing to it. I was sleeping in a

recliner because I could not breathe

well enough to sleep in my bed. My knees

and my feet were beginning to hurt. I

was unable to do even routine housework

and shopping without great effort and

discomfort.

I began to realize this was no way to

live. I was consumed with both the fear

of living and the fear of dying. I had a

friend who was in a similar condition,

and together we gathered up the courage

to attend a few program meetings. I also

discovered a wonderful community of

program members online and here is where

I found the courage to move forward and

to begin my recovery journey. It was

also online I found the fellow sufferer

in recovery who became my sponsor.

I am so thankful my Higher Power made me

realize that I could move through the

fear I had about living. With the help

of my program and my Higher Power, I

became a blossoming flower who did not

die in the bud.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .


 accept that fear may be in my life and


that my Higher Power is stronger than


anything I fear. I move forward today


trusting my Higher Power to draw me to


my highest good. I know that growth


comes with action and I am willing to


risk moving through the fear into


positive action.