Recovery Meditations ~ Self-Knowledge ~ One Day at a Time ~ September 2, 2010

~ SELF-KNOWLEDGE ~

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"The world we have created is a product of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking."

Albert Einstein

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The world I created before finding the Twelve Steps of recovery was a world in which I had no responsibility. Everything bad in my life was someone else’s fault: my parents’, my husband’s, society’s, and,
when there was no one else to blame, it was God’s fault.
As I worked Step 4, I learned that I had been a part of all of these things for which I blamed others. I learned that I had defects of character that kept me from taking part in my life. As I recognized these defects, I asked my Higher Power to remove them, and that gradually happened.
One of the things I had tried to do for many years was bury my feelings of grief and pain. I seemed to have managed that fairly well, but in doing so, I had also buried all the other emotion. I no longer took enjoyment in anything. My child’s smile evoked no feeling and I felt no pride in anything I did. I felt none of the love that others gave to me. As I started dealing with the painful feelings, the positive emotions emerged as well.

The promise the Big Book speaks of became true for me: I no longer regretted the past nor wished to shut
the door on it. I was able to feel my hurt and grief. Now I am also able to feel love and happiness. I have learned how to change my thinking through the process of working these wonderful Steps.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I do a daily 10th, 11th and 12th Step and am reminded that it is my responsibility to listen to my Higher  Power and do my part in creating the world around me.