~ TRIAL AND ERROR ~
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"Anything worth doing at all is worth
doing poorly."
Joachim de Posada
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Imagine my shock the first time I heard
this statement, which happened to be in
a Twelve Step (OA) meeting. I had been
reared in an environment in which
anything worth doing at all was worth
doing well. In fact, in my world this
concept was practiced as if it had
religious authority. It was
perfectionism given flesh and bones.
Perhaps the idea that "anything worth
doing at all is worth doing well"
worked for some folks. For me, it was
paralyzing. There were many things that
I needed to do that I simply could not
do well. These included things like
trimming the hedge, praying, and making
good investment choices. So how did my
sick, obsessive-compulsive self respond?
Predictably, of course: I just didn't do
those things I felt I couldn’t do
well. I was rarely willing to take the
chance of acting and being wrong, so I
did not act at all. Soon I was living a
very restricted life -- a life hemmed in
by the fear of messing up. I needed to
be perfect or just not be at all.
Then I found the program. There I
learned that I am human and that making
mistakes is part of being human. I even
learned that making mistakes is a good
thing, because in doing so I have
acted. This is a program of action. I
learn by acting and by making
mistakes. How liberating! How freeing. I
can't tell you how much my constricted,
warped life began to open up. I acted
and did things poorly, and people
responded warmly and in a helpful
manner. I took their advice and I joined
the human race. I now consider this
simple concept -- act, even if it means
doing a thing poorly -- as one of the
greatest gifts of the program. My life
is really my life now. Perfectionism
occasionally rears its ugly head, but
when it does, I simply remember where I
came from and then I go ahead and make a
mistake and set myself free again.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
Today I will do what I need to do, and I
will do it as well as I can. When I make
a mistake I will not conclude that I am
a mistake. I will accept that I am human
and I will ask for help. Perfection has
never been a goal of this program and it
is not a goal for my life.