Recovery Meditations ~ Change ~ One Day at a Time ~ December 15, 2010

~ CHANGE ~

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To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

Helen Keller

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As far back as I can remember, I have

always been fearful of change. I

preferred to stay in my comfort zone,

even when it became uncomfortable or

painful. I suppose that was why I stayed

in the disease for so long; it was what

I knew. It was safe and predictable and

I didn't have to deal with painful

emotions such as loss and

rejection. This was also why I stayed so

long in a bad marriage; I was terrified

of what was outside the walls of my

dysfunctional relationship. In truth, I

didn't really live, because fear of

change prevented me from forming new

relationships and doing new and exciting

things. Even the move from one city to

another was totally traumatic, because

the old and familiar was what I knew,

not because it was better. Even then, I

spent so long looking at the closed door

behind me that I failed to see the open

door in front of me.

I know now that even when I fear change,

I need only put one foot in front of the

other, and do what is before me. Because

I now have faith that my Higher Power

will be with me every step of the way, I

need only ask for help, and the help

comes. Even though it still is not easy,

I am aware of how many changes I have

been able to make with the help of my

Higher Power. In the past, I spent so

much time obsessing about the outcome

that I talked myself out of the change I

was thinking of making. The biggest

change that has happened for me is my

newfound faith which enables me to take

that leap into the unknown.

There have been other miraculous changes

too. Now I have a more open and honest

relationship with my children and others

because I am able to take more risks and

set boundaries, which I had never been

able to do before. I have changed

careers, undertaken flying overseas on

my own, and in general am not the scared

person I used to be. I also have a whole

new family of wonderful friends in this

fellowship who understand me and love me

always.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I continue to grow and change as God wills me to do, and I will not be afraid because I know that He will always be there to guide and help me.