~ GOD IS ~
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A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.
Tara Morice as Fran, from the movie "Strictly Ballroom"
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Open your eyes and the whole world is full of God.
Jakob Bohme
When I was a child, my family never
talked about God. I never knew the light
of God, never felt His love or power, or
recognized His presence in my life. When
things were rough, I could only see the
darkness. When I was lonely, I didn't
know He was with me all the time. When I
was weak or scared, I thought I had to
overcome and be strong, and not be
afraid. I didn't feel His presence with
me, or believe that He was watching over
me. Then, for twenty years I was married
to a religious man who did talk about
God. I tried so hard to believe as he
did, but his words soon lost their
meaning. The abuse began to overshadow
the hope that things would change, and
the belief that God would make
everything okay, if only I believed like
my husband. For years I have struggled
with my faith, trying to believe in a
God that was willing to light my way,
love me, and protect me ... not just in
the good times, but in the painful
times.
When I first came into recovery, I was
still struggling, but I became "willing
to believe" that God cared about me. I
started watching for signs that He was
there, ready to light my path when I
could see only the darkness, ready to
enfold me in His arms when I felt
unloveable, and ready to protect me when
I was scared. I became willing to
recognize His presence in my day-to-day
life.
Now that I am willing, I can find God's
love everywhere ... in a friendly smile,
in the kind words of a friend, in the
beauty of a flower, and in a child's
eyes. Sometimes, when life gets rough, I
have to look a little harder, but it's
there. I only have to remain open and
willing to see it and accept
it. Wherever I am, God is there with me,
ready to love and protect me.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I will be willing to see God's presence in my life, and know that wherever I am, God is. I will let go, and let God be there.