~ REGRET ~
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"Regret is an appalling waste of energy;
you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in."
Katherine Mansfield
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Before I came into the program, I
allowed fear to rule my life and prevent
me from trying new things. I was absent
from my own life. I was emotionally
unavailable to my children and I stayed
stuck in a deep hole of self-pity. I
never really heard beautiful music or
gloried in the miracles of nature.
Although I had what people might
perceive as a pretty normal life, it was
actually an empty shell and I merely
existed. I feel so saddened now at the
thought of all the wasted years. I
cannot bring them back, but I can learn
from them.
When I came into the program and read
the Promises in the Big Book of
Alcoholics Anonymous, I realized that it
was futile to regret the past or to shut
the door on it. Those years and all the
pain I went through are what made me the
person I am today. I need to always
remember where I came from, because if I
don't, I can just as easily go back
there. I can also use my experience to
help others on this wonderful road to
recovery. I am able to give away what
has been given to me so freely, because
it¢s only then that I can keep what I
have.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I must always remember where I came from so that I can help others in this program of recovery and keep myself from going back into the patterns of my past.