Recovery Meditations ~ Letting Go ~ One Day at a Time ~ January 6, 2011

~ LETTING GO ~

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He who cannot rest, cannot work;

He who cannot let go, cannot hold on;

He who cannot find footing, cannot go forward.

Harry Emerson Fosdick

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Prior to walking through the doors of

this program my aim in life was to set

up barricades against possible

attacks. My mind was cluttered with

battle strategies and defense tactics. I

would try to predict every conceivable

plot to topple me from my self-appointed

throne. I would seek to control

situations in order to dominate the

outcomes. I would bend over backwards to

do for others what I didn't want them to

do for themselves, so that I could

contain the situation. I would

manipulate, influence and maneuver

myself into a position of power so that

I wasn't presented with any

surprises. Every situation was weighed

for the probability of failure. I never

took chances.

This process took time and vast amounts

of energy; my mind was in a constant

cacophony. Consequently there was no

room for growth, no space for acquiring

new skills and no time to develop old

ones. Every day was a constant juggling

act between an ever-decreasing energy

supply and an escalating demand to feel

secure. The more I sought to control,

the less I controlled.

Working through Step One brought the

whole crusade to an end. I learned to

let go of what I had laughingly called

control. I learned to relinquish the

helm and acknowledge that I wasn't such

a good driver. Almost instantly I became

aware of a path beneath my feet. I was,

for the first time in the longest time,

moving forwards. The scenery was

changing and the outlook was brighter.


ONE DAY AT A TIME ...


I will accept what I cannot do alone, and let go and let God.