~ RECOVERY ~
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Survival is nothing more than recovery.
Dianne Feinstein
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As a very young child, I had a loving
relationship with my Higher Power. I talked
to God all the time about the things I
didn't understand. I asked for His help in
making me a better person, daughter,
granddaughter, etc.
Then, as happens in dysfunctional families,
things got worse. Being the youngest, I
became the scapegoat for people who
didn't know how to express anger and pain
properly. I, too, learned inappropriate ways
to express my feelings. I also began to turn
against my Higher Power. Why wasn't He
helping me? Why was He letting me be so
unhappy? Why wasn't He answering my
prayers? Why hadn't I awakened thin yet?
It took me many years to destroy my
relationship with God, but thankfully, it
only took a few years of the Twelve Step
program for me to rediscover my former
relationship with Him. As my eating
disorders have been lessened and
abstinence has become the norm in my
life, I am very grateful for the Higher Power
in my life today. I truly feel as if I've
gained something I once lost. Thanks to
recovery, I've also gained things I never
had or don't remember having. I have
a peace, serenity, acceptance,
understanding and love that I can never
remember experiencing before. The more I
trust in my Higher Power, the more rewards
of recovery become mine.
ONE DAY AT A TIME ...
I will work my program and be grateful for the level of recovery I'm currently experiencing.
When I feel a lack of growth within myself, I will look at how far I've come and trust that my growth is in my Higher Power's time, not mine.