~ ERRORS AND ASSETS ~
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We grow by our willingness to face and
rectify errors and convert them into
assets.
The Big Book
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I have had a paradigm shift in my
life. This means that I have begun to
see some of my most basic ideas about
food and nourishment from a different
angle. I never really thought these
things through before this program
nudged me to have a look at my life with
rigorous honesty. Oh, I wanted to be
thin, but I barely related that to my
feelings about food.
I was on autopilot for years and now
realize that my concept of food was
reasoned out when I was still a child. I
put that childish set of ideas in place
and then just stopped thinking about
it. That little child wanted the most
she could get of everything there
was. She wanted the most attention, the
most love, the most toys . . . and the
most food. And at that time it was
exactly the right way to look at the
world. When I was a child setting up the
system that constantly demands more to
calm or soothe or comfort or love, I
turned to food because it is simple and
I did not possess the skills to get my
needs met in other ways. It was a
victory really, because I coped, made it
through to now. But, to stick with a
plan set up by a little child reflects a
lack of willingness to face a basic
error in engaging the world and change
my behavior.
Now I know that eating mass quantities
of food isn't about love, or fun, or
comfort. Now my adult mind knows that
food is a fuel that, if chosen
judiciously, helps my body to work
efficiently and clears my mind for the
task of being a responsible adult in a
busy, troubled world. By shifting from
"How much food do I get for me?" to
"What must I eat today to be healthy?" I
change my whole basis for choosing. I
take an area of my life that has been a
constant error and change it into an
asset, one that nourishes me and helps
me to do that next right thing.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I am willing to face my flawed thinking about food and change the way I make food choices, meal by meal, so that food is an asset to me and not a liability.