~ STARTING OVER ~
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Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
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Before coming into this program I was,
and probably still am to a certain
extent, a perfectionist, so one of the
things I really struggled with is being
able make mistakes without feeling bad
about myself. So when I came into the
program, I decided that I was going to
do this program perfectly, and proceeded
to do just that. I followed a meal plan,
lost weight and worked the steps, and I
really thought I had it made. But I
hadn't counted on the fact that this is
a disease, and it is both cunning,
baffling and powerful. So when I had my
first slip, I was devastated and felt a
real failure.
Fortunately for me, with the help of
many loving sponsors over the years, I
have realised that I am not a failure if
I slip, but I am only one if I fail to
get up. This program has enabled me to
learn that when I make a mistake, I am
not that mistake, and that all I need to
do is to pick myself up and start
over. In the old days if I failed at a
diet, I would never have been able to
pick myself up so soon, and it would
always be an excuse to carry on eating
and start the diet again on Monday. Now
I know that my abstinence can even start
at the end of the day, rather than
waiting till tomorrow, next week or even
next month. I am slowly starting to let
go of the guilt I feel when I slip, and
am also learning to love myself even
when I do flounder, because with the
love and support I am given in this
program, I know I can always start over.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I will remember that I can start afresh any time I like, and don't need to feel as if I have failed.