Recovery Meditations ~ Balance Sheet ~ One Day at a Time ~ October 9, 2011

~ BALANCE SHEET ~

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."

Harry S. Truman

http://www.therecoverygroup.org/meditations/balancesheet.html

Recovery Meditations ~ Wisdom ~ One Day at a Time ~ October 8, 2011

WISDOM

"Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep,
too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.”

Kahlil Gibran

Recovery Meditations ~ Loss ~ One Day at a Time ~ August 11, 2011

~ LOSS ~

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"The act of giving something up is

painful. But as we negotiate the curves

and corners of our lives, we must

continually give up parts of ourselves.

The only alternative is not to travel at

all on the journey of life."

M. Scott Peck

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As I look back over my life, I can

remember many losses. Some came about by

death, some by the circumstances of

life, and others by choices I made. All

of my losses were painful, but only

three were traumatic. Whenever I gave

something up there was a period

afterwards when my life wasn’t the same

as it had been before. The amount of

pain I experienced and the length of its

duration were not contingent upon the

seeming "severity" of the loss. Death

was final, but not the most traumatic

for me. Letting go of something takes

many forms.

Though my most traumatic losses were

those I experienced at the end of a

relationship, there were other losses,

too. I lost my youth and I mourned

that. I lost a part of my life when a

decades-long career gave way to

retirement. I lost my role as mother

when my children grew up and I found

myself with an empty nest. I lost my

identity when the disease I have had for

a lifetime caused me to reach bottom

and, in the process, took the "me who

was" along with it. And I lost another

part of myself when I accepted the

reality of my marriage and let go of the

storybook dreams I once had.

My Twelve Step program has enabled me to

go through a mourning process for each

loss I experienced. I have allowed

myself to grieve and feel the

feelings. And when all this was done,

God’s grace allowed me to heal.


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I will learn from those things I had to


give up ... and I will continue my


journey in serenity and peace.

Recovery Meditations ~ Happiness ~ One Day at a Time ~ August 8, 2011


~ HAPPINESS ~


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Happiness is never something you get

from other people. The happiness you

feel is in direct proportion to the love

you are able to give.


. . . Oprah Winfrey

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I learned a great lesson while grieving

the loss of my three-year-old son. It

was Christmas time. I had three other

children who were looking forward to a

wonderful day with all the trimmings,

but my heart was despairing. I came to

the realization that I could take the

experience one moment at a time. Some of

those moments would be very sad, but

some of those little periods of time

would be joyful. I found out that

happiness is moments, not a state of

being. We can take those joyful moments

and treasure them until they accumulate

into happiness. We have the choice to

treasure them or to allow them to

disappear in our lack of gratitude and

appreciation.

Every day there is joy that we miss

because we aren't looking for it. When I

look back at the end of the day and add

up the good moments, I often realize

there is so much joy in my life. I learn

to appreciate the little things.

That Christmas is remembered more for

those little moments of joy. The love in

my heart for the other children helped

me to rise above the despair and reach

out to give them a gift of happiness on

that treasured holiday.


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I strive to see the good in each moment.

Recovery Meditations ~ Opportunities ~ One Day at a Time ~ July 25, 2011

~ OPPORTUNITIES ~


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A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

Francis Bacon



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There is a promise that more will be

revealed as we trudge the road of happy

destiny. We all start by building on the

basics, the foundation that must be in

place. In grade school I learned to read

and write; in high school, how to

research and train myself to acquire

information. In college, I gained

specific advanced information that

allowed me to build upon, and advance my

interests. When I applied the same

principles to the program, I got similar

results, but even more so. When my mind

was opened to spiritual principles, I

received much more than that I was

seeking. My thoughts were lifted to a

much higher plane of ethics.



In searching for an answer to compulsive

overeating, I was exposed to additional

opportunities to grow by doing. Often I

tried them. These exercises sent my

thoughts to other areas, which I again

explored. I am amazed at what I have

learned while looking for something

else.



We can all learn truth if we will open

our hearts and minds. We will then be

without excuse not to exercise every

opportunity to practice it.


ONE DAY AT A TIME ...

Am I taking advantage of every opportunity to grow? Some opportunities? Any opportunities?

Recovery Meditations ~ Sanity ~ One Day at a Time ~ July 11, 2011

~ SANITY ~

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"Came to believe ...

That a power greater than ourselves ...

Could restore us to sanity."


Step Two

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What a powerful statement! There's a

power greater than me. At first glance

it seemed so frightening. As I looked at

my situation, it seemed impossible

... who or what could be greater than I

am? To be "restored" to sanity meant I

must be crazy. After all, that is what

insanity means. My Higher Power happened

to be my sponsor and she was determined

enough to be that power, if only until I

opened the door to another.

One day when my ears were open and my

mouth shut, these words came from

another sufferer: "God can." I thought

to myself, "What? What does 'God can'

mean?" Later -- when my body was clean

and my mind receptive -- those words

came to mean a great deal to me. "God

can" if I let Him. God can take away my

compulsion to overeat. God can remove my

desire for nicotine. God can take away

my desire for booze. Yes, God can.

I no longer worry about what I can't

accomplish because I know that "God

can." So now when my day begins I think

of what I can do right, and I do it for

today. That which I cannot do right -- I

just let God handle that. We make a

pretty good team, God and me.


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .


I let my Higher Power restore me to sanity.

Recovery Meditations ~ Hope ~ One Day at a Time ~ July 4, 2011

~ HOPE ~

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“Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

And sings the tune without the words

And never stops at all.”

Emily Dickinson

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I wanted desperately to lose weight, be

happy, be spiritually and emotionally

fulfilled, and feel serenity in my

soul. How long must one wait in a single

lifetime to achieve these things? How

long must one function day-to-day at a

fairly high level, only to close the

door at night to a world of emptiness?

How long must one go without hope?

My compulsion for food had come close to

destroying my life. I was in a constant

state of denial that the simple act of

eating food could account for a life run

amok and totally unmanageable. But the

truth of the matter is that it could

... and it did.

I found Twelve Steps that empowered me

to do things I'd never dreamed of

doing. These Twelve Steps enabled me to

see the simple reality that compulsive

eating could destroy my life. They

showed me that life was beautiful and

that my disease could turn out to be my

greatest blessing. The Twelve Steps gave

me something so precious that I am in

awe of their power .... something so

empowering that I had to admit

powerlessness in order to become

powerful. The Twelve Steps gave me the

most beautiful gift I have ever received

... a gift that no one can ever take

away from me ... a gift that I treasure

above all gifts: hope. They gave me the

gift of hope.


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I will hold onto my hope.


One day at a time ... I will treasure my hope.


One day at a time ... hope perches in my soul.


One day at a time ... hope sings its song.

Recovery Meditations ~ Isolation ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 28, 2011

~ ISOLATION ~

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"Solitude vivifies; isolation kills."

Joseph Roux

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As an introvert and an agoraphobic I

relate to both sides of this quote. From

an introverted point of view, I need

solitude to regroup, renew, and

refresh. It's part of my process in life

to have quiet time by myself in order to

"get it together." When I'm alone I can

read my OA literature and meditate on

what I'm reading and learning. I'm able

to gain new insight and a renewed sense

of direction in my program.

From an agoraphobic point of view,

isolation kills my ability to stick to

my program. When my social anxiety

cycles and it becomes difficult to get

to meetings or make phone calls, I hide

from the world and from my friends and

other OA members who can help me

maintain my abstinence.

Solitude and Isolation are both active

decisions. Both require some

forethought. If I need solitude in order

to regroup, I have to make time for

it. I have to take a walk, read a book,

putter around my house. On the flip

side, if I'm having a hard time with

Program and my social anxiety is

becoming unmanageable, I can either

isolate and spiral down, or I can choose

to take action and get to a meeting,

make a phone call, or ask my sponsor to

meet me for coffee. I don't have to be

alone in this program.


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I remember that I have control over my


actions. Although I need solitude to


heal, I don't have to be alone in my


disease.

Recovery Meditations ~ Sunlight of the Spirit ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 22, 2011

~ SUNLIGHT OF THE SPIRIT ~

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"Trust God and buy broccoli."

Author Unknown

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I heard that quotation in an OA meeting

years ago. "What an odd thing," I

thought. "Why does God care what I buy?"

But as years have gone by and my

abstinence continues one day at a time,

I see the meaning of that phrase and

have deep respect for its principle.



I can trust God 'til the cows come home,

but there is work to be done. A more

familiar quote is: "Trust God but

continue to row toward shore."



Abstinence for me is not only refraining

from compulsive overeating, but

abstaining from what I call my

"alcoholic foods." They block that

beautiful contact between me and the

Sunlight of the Spirit. It is my

responsibility to purchase, prepare,

weigh and measure the best foods for my

peace of mind ~ and to open the channel

to a Power Greater than Myself. Now I

live this way, with thanks to the twelve

steps.



ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .


I will be grateful that food does not


have power today.

Recovery Meditations ~ Peace ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 14, 2011

~ PEACE ~

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"If you do not find peace in yourself,

you will never find it anywhere else."

Paula A. Bendry

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No outside reality can bring me

peace. In the past, I tried to find it

in many things, including relationships,

ownership, and my vocation. But none of

these externals brought me real peace. I

had the opportunity of having all of

them stripped away by a crisis in my

life. I had surgery and got an infection

that required a long period of recovery

and resulted in disability. Many of my

relationships ended, my income was

reduced drastically, my capacity for

ownership was decreased greatly, and I

could no longer work. Although it was a

painful lesson, it has been good for my

spiritual condition.

I have been forced to look inside myself

and realize that true peace and joy are

found within. It is not about

externals. Once I realized that, I found

a relationship with my Higher Power that

was deeper and more intimate than

before, and the peace in my life settled

inside of me in even greater measure.



ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .


I will look inwardly for the peace that I long for.
 


Recovery Meditations ~ Expectations ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 13, 2011

~ EXPECTATIONS ~

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"It’s astonishing in this world how

things don’t turn out at all the way you

expect them to."


Agatha Christie

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My life has been strangled by

expectations ~ expectations I’ve held

for myself; expectations others had of

me; expectations I had of others;

expectations I had for my life; and

expectations I had of the God of my

understanding. Again and again, my

expectations were not met ~ and I was

angry. I felt grossly let down and I was

filled with resentment and

shame. Eventually I became consumed by a

toxic sense of angry and depressing

apathy. If nothing turned out as I

expected, why bother? I’d held so

tightly to my expectations that they

choked the life out of my soul. They

condemned me to an existence of

futility, frustration, selfishness, and

despair. I thought that my expectations

were realistic and "right"; therefore

each variance from my expectations

seemed a violation of the natural order

of things.

Since beginning my Recovery work, I’ve

come to recognize that I virtually

believed that I was God. I thought I

knew what was "best", what was "right",

and what was "supposed" to

happen. Though I am sometimes resistant,

I am learning to let go of my

expectations. I am learning to change my

focus from my finite understanding to

the mysterious and omniscient plan held

safely and sanely in the hands of

God. As I work my steps and learn from

others, I find that I am relieved that

my earlier expectations did not come to

fruition.


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .


I surrender my former expectations and


now expect only one thing: that as I


work my steps, God will bring me


increasing depths of sanity.

Recovery Meditations ~ Honesty ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 8, 2011

~ HONESTY ~


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"Our lives improve only when we take

chances ~ and the first and most

difficult risk we can take is to be

honest with ourselves."

Walter Anderson

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After the initial shock and realization

that I am a compulsive overeater, it

transpired that in order to recover, I

had to get honest. This was -- and still

is -- a painful process for me, yet it

is an essential step towards my

recovery.

First I had to admit that I wasn't in

control of my life and that recovery

couldn't be achieved unaided. As with

most revelations, this was an

uncomfortable truth to behold. I was

also prompted, through honesty, to stop

blaming everyone else for my

unwillingness to help myself. I had to

find conviction in my actions and not

just emptiness in my words.

I conceded that I am not as perfect as I

would like to think. I make mistakes and

sometimes slip from the path of

recovery, but with honesty comes

acceptance that I am only human.

This disease would deceive me into

thinking that I am a failure, when in

fact it's my actions that have failed

me. Like a magician who performs

illusions for the crowd, this disease

would have me think I have committed

unforgivable sins.

Honesty is the key to my recovery; it

unlocks the chains, which have

imprisoned me for so long. It allows me

to recognize my weaknesses and turn them

into strengths. It turns simple

existence into life ~ and inner

conflicts into outward serenity.



ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .


I will be honest with myself.

Recovery Meditations ~ Compassion ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 7, 2011

~ COMPASSION ~


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"How far you go in life depends on your

being tender with the young,

compassionate with the aged, sympathetic

with the striving, and tolerant of the

weak and the strong. Because sometime

in your life you will have been all of

these."

~ George Washington Carver

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This Twelve Step program works wonders

on many levels. But one of the most

noticible changes I've seen in my life

has been in the area of compassion.



Eating disorders can really mess a

person up. All of us who have the

disease of compulsive eating, in no

matter what form, have been laughed at,

discriminated against, or generally

overlooked by those who don't suffer

from our disease. So, one would think

that compulsive eaters would be more

loving and understanding to their

fellows. For the most part this is

true. But I have seen compulsive eaters

be just as cruel as our more

normal-weight counterparts.



If we can mistreat each other, how can

we ever expect others to treat us

differently? We need to remember where

we were in our disease, for there are

others in that same situation. We need

to see ourselves in the newcomers to our

program, because we run the risk of

returning to where they are now. "There

but for the grace of God go I" takes on

a whole new meaning when we apply that

phrase to our situation.



Sometimes we see varying degrees of

success in this program of recovery. We

must each work our program, and allow

our fellows to work their program. It's

not up to us to take someone else's

inventory concerning the success or

failure of their program. We need only

to keep our own side of the street

clean, and to show compassion to those

of our fellows who are struggling. After

all, compassion was what prompted the

founding of our fellowship in the first

place.


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .


I will consciously practice compassion


toward those who still suffer, because I


remember where I came from on this path,


and realize I could return there.

Recovery Meditations ~ Human Emotion ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 6, 2011

~ HUMAN EMOTION ~


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"Character cannot be developed in ease

and quiet. Only through experiences of

trial and suffering can the soul be

strengthened, vision cleared, ambition

inspired and success achieved."

Helen Keller

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While traveling through life, I have

made choices that have injured myself

and others. Others have made choices

that have hurt me. Remembering and

writing about my past has proved to

bring up a plethora of negative

emotions. At this moment I feel pain,

remorse, anger, frustration, and am

overwhelmed.

Every human on earth experiences these

same feelings at one time or

another. This is part of what I am here

for. How could I ever comprehend bliss

without experiencing misery? How could I

enjoy inspiration without suffering

depression? How could I appreciate peace

without encountering turmoil? I am

grateful for the problems life gives me

-- partnered with the emotions they

bring -- because without the bad I could

not understand the good. Everything has

its opposite. Things will always

change. Things will always get better,

just like the sun shines after each

storm. The good news is that even though

I may be experiencing negative feelings,

I am learning empathy and I am gaining

wisdom. And how much more will I value

the rays of sunshine that break through

the gray clouds?


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I will allow myself the honor of feeling


human emotion. I will ask my Higher


Power to give me comfort in my hardships


and to help me remember why I am here. I


will ask my Higher Power to open my


heart to the lessons I am learning. For


today, with hope and faith, I will look


for the sunbeams shining through the


haze.

Recovery Meditations ~ Step One ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 5, 2011

~ STEP ONE ~


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"Well begun is half done."

Aristotle

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The first time I took step one I knew

that I was beat. Because I knew that I

was beat, I knew I had to have help to

survive. I sought and accepted that help

in OA. I put the program into action. I

completed the twelve steps and tasted

recovery.

Over the years I have had to renew my

step one, and each time I was convinced

that I was not going to make it without

the help in program. That spurred me on

to complete the 12 steps many

times. Step one is essentially what made

me complete all twelve steps and go on

to a fuller and fuller life in

recovery. Without step one, there really

was no need or motivation for steps two

through twelve.

Recently I realized that step one is

particularly necessary to do step

twelve. I cannot help anyone without my

Higher Power. I cannot control another's

program. I cannot carry the message on

my own, nor can I practice the

principles in all my affairs by

myself. Step one -- my powerlessness and

my inability to manage -- is a great

blessing. It is what spurs me on to turn

to my Higher Power in all tasks great

and small; it is what helps me to gain

more and more ground in recovery.


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I will admit my powerlessness and my


inability to manage, then I will turn to


God Who will take me through my program


and my life - with His power and His


ability to manage.

Recovery Meditations ~ Fourth Step Secrets ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 4, 2011

~ FOURTH STEP SECRETS ~

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"These are weighty secrets and we must whisper them."


Sarah Chauncey Woolsey (Susan Coolidge)

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When I came to the Recovery Group, I was

wearing the pain of a lifetime of

well-kept secrets - secrets about a

childhood of poverty and secrets about a

difficult marriage. No one ever saw my

secret pain; I never shared it with

anyone. But all could see the effects of

the food I used as a coping mechanism.

Because of my willingness "to do

whatever it takes," I shared these

secrets with the person who took my 5th

step. I later shared it with my sponsor

and some of them later with a sponsee

during her 5th step. Sharing this pain

the first two times was like the

bursting of a painful abscess, with

poison being released. The poison that

kept me living in resentful, negative

thinking has been gradually replaced

with gratitude for what I had and now

have, and with the ability to experience

joy in my many, many blessings.


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I will experience gratitude for the


gifts I was given in my 4th and 5th


steps and for the gifts of this program.

Recovery Meditations ~ Experience, Strength and Hope ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 3, 2011

~ EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH AND HOPE ~

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"Experience is not what happens to you.

It is what you do with what happens to you."

Aldous Huxley

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Every day is filled with experiences. I

can choose to let them pass me by, or I

can allow myself to learn lessons from

them. It is easy to let the day pass by

quickly and virtually unlived. If I

refuse to stay in the present moment and

choose rather to be filled with

resentment, stuck in the past, filled

with fear, or stuck in the future, life

truly does pass me by. My experience

truly has no value. But if I choose to

learn lessons, stay in the present

moment, and remain connected to my

Higher Power, my day becomes experience,

strength and hope.

Since coming to the program I have

learned that I can share my experience,

strength and hope in so many ways. A

call to or from an OA friend gives me an

opportunity to give and receive

experience, strength and hope. I hear

experience, strength and hope shared

daily as I attend meetings. People share

not only what has happened to them, but

the great lessons that they have allowed

their Higher Power to teach them. This

is such an honor to be part of, an honor

that I would not want to miss. I give

and receive my experience, strength and

hope on the loops where I share -- and

receive shares -- on a daily basis. I am

blessed to be a part of strong loops

with great recovery and sharing. My

sponsors frequently share their

experience, strength and hope with me. I

am privileged to have two sponsors with

quality recovery who are members of The

Recovery Group. I am so grateful for

their input in my life and

recovery. They have been such an

important part of my life lessons. Every

source of experience, strength and hope

in my life gives me more encouragement

to learn new lessons with every

experience I have every day.



ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .


I will find every opportunity to share


my experience, strength and hope.

Recovery Meditations ~ Perfection ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 2, 2011

~ PERFECTION ~

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"My imperfections and failures are as

much a blessing from God as my successes

and my talents, and I lay them both at

His feet."


Mahatma Gandhi

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I don't know why I used to think that if

something wasn't done perfectly, it

wasn't worth doing. I was an all-time

overachiever and to fail at anything was

totally unacceptable. Since I set such

impossibly high standards, it was hardly

surprising that I couldn't love -- or

even like -- myself. I was constantly

pushing to excel at those things I was

good at, and I would beat myself up if I

failed to meet my high expectations. I

was especially critical of my body. I

thought that if I had the perfect body,

my life would be perfect.

When I came into the program I had to

learn to not be so hard on myself. For

the first time I began to realize that I

was human and could still be loveable

and worthy ~ even with all my

imperfections and character defects. I

am lovingly reminded by my sponsor and

my friends in the fellowship to be

gentler with myself. They remind me that

I don't even have to do the program

perfectly. I just need to do the best I

know how for that day; then I can see

progress one day at a time. I don't have

to push myself to be perfect all the

time in order to win approval or gain

love. What a relief that is!


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I don't have to be perfect all the


time. I just need to be the best me that


I can be for todayand that's the way God


intended me to be.

Recovery Meditations ~ Scars ~ One Day at a Time ~ June 1, 2011

~ SCARS ~


:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

"Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power."

Shirley MacLaine

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I’ve lived most of my life filled with bitterness towards people, God and myself. My mind, soul, and body were consumed by hatred, self-pity, pain, hopelessness, and a complete sense of powerlessness. I focused my energy on reviewing my scars. I counted them, checked them, nurtured them, and flaunted them. They were proof of all the wrongs I’d endured. They were my source of energy. They were my identity. They were my badge of sorrow.
As I work my recovery, I am beginning to see everything from a new perspective. Gradually my head is lifted
and my eyes are turned away from my once-beloved scars. The more I allow myself to accept that my powerlessness is not a prison of doom, the more I discover that it is my doorway to faith, surrender, and serenity.
My scars are still here. There is no magic potion to remove them. What is magical, however, is that I see them so differently. I find that I have a choiceto make every day: I can cherish my scars as proof of the pain I have suffered, or I can be thankful for them as evidence of things I have survived. Scar tissue forms and creates a stronger, thicker skin in its place. I can either pick at it and make it bleed, or I can welcome the lessons and endurance it has built into my life.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I will choose to see my scars as proof of the difficulties I have survived. I will choose to appreciate them as evidence that God has brought me through suffering and has used all things to strengthen my faith in Him, my hope for tomorrow, and my serenity for today.

Recovery Meditations ~ Compulsions ~ One Day at a Time ~ May 31, 2011

~ COMPULSIONS ~


Compulsive urges to overeat, gorge or purge are inadequate coping mechanisms.

Compulsion is loss of control and continuation of the behavior despite the consequences.


Gloria Arenson

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Compulsive overeating is not a moral dilemma; it is not a right or wrong; nor is it a black and white event. I learned at a pre-verbal stage that compulsive overeating is a coping mechanism. When I cried to be held, I was fed; when I cried because I was wet, I was fed; when I cried because I was in pain, I was fed; when life was good, I was fed. Is it any wonder I reach for food when life is happening around me?

This program teaches me different ways to cope with life. The Steps teach me how to act on life rather than react to it. I did not choose this disease, but I do choose recovery. Through the help of my Higher Power, the program, and other program members I can recover. I can live in the solution one day at a time and one meal at a time.

One Day at a Time . . .


I will have a program. I choose recovery, health, love and life.