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It takes a long time to become young.
Pablo Picasso
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By the time I came to the Twelve Step
program, I had forgotten how to have fun.
My whole world revolved around food --
eating it, planning to eat it, or not eating
it (and being very aware of it). When asked
to go anywhere, what first came to mind is
what foods I could eat there. I would agree
to go only if I were in the mood for the kind
of food that would be available, and if the
person going with me would be interested
in eating it too. Parties were all about the
food, not who I'd see and meet. Family
reunions were about Aunt Betty's specialty
dish and Uncle John's grilled meats.
This focus on food made me forget how to
have fun. I even forgot what I liked to do, if I
ever knew. The truth is that fun came to
mean eating, and it was what I liked to do.
In the recovery program, I've learned that I have
choices; I just couldn't see them for the food!
The first time I went to a party where I didn't
even think about the food, but enjoyed all the
new people I met while reconnecting with old
friends, I was shocked when I ended up at the
refreshment table. The party was almost over,
and I hadn't visited this area the second I walked
in the door! What a relief! And what fun! I came
home full of life and love and laughter. I hadn't
felt so young in years.
ONE DAY AT A TIME ...
I will pray to keep my focus away from food and instead focus on life.