Recovery Meditations ~ Seeing Clearly ~ One Day at a Time ~ January 12, 2011

~ SEEING CLEARLY ~

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If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.

Norm Crosby

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For so many years I had trouble seeing

the obvious. I felt blind when dealing with

emotions. I didn't know how to express

anger properly. I was either furious (and

eating) over little things, or emotionally void

(and eating) over big things. I was told my

feelings were hurt too easily, so I began to

stifle my rightfully hurt feelings, using food to

stuff the pain. But the worst was happiness.

I was hysterically happy over the stupidest

little things, and felt immensely unworthy of

kindnesses done for me. Neither felt comfortable,

so I always ended up eating.

It all began to come clear in the program. For

once I could see my actions and my reactions

and begin to understand myself and my motives.

As I have worked this program, I no longer feel

like my emotions swing on a pendulum from one

extreme to the other. I can see things as they

really are. I no longer make big mountains out of

small hills or make small hills out of big mountains.

I can now feel happiness, and express it, in

complete comfort with myself. The nicest part is

that while I may not be well-acquainted with my

new behavior yet, it feels very comfortable, and I

no longer have to practice my eating disorders to

cover up my feelings.


ONE DAY AT A TIME ...


My eyes are opened by the program to the truth of what is and the feelings that are.