~ SEEING CLEARLY ~
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If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.
Norm Crosby
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For so many years I had trouble seeing
the obvious. I felt blind when dealing with
emotions. I didn't know how to express
anger properly. I was either furious (and
eating) over little things, or emotionally void
(and eating) over big things. I was told my
feelings were hurt too easily, so I began to
stifle my rightfully hurt feelings, using food to
stuff the pain. But the worst was happiness.
I was hysterically happy over the stupidest
little things, and felt immensely unworthy of
kindnesses done for me. Neither felt comfortable,
so I always ended up eating.
It all began to come clear in the program. For
once I could see my actions and my reactions
and begin to understand myself and my motives.
As I have worked this program, I no longer feel
like my emotions swing on a pendulum from one
extreme to the other. I can see things as they
really are. I no longer make big mountains out of
small hills or make small hills out of big mountains.
I can now feel happiness, and express it, in
complete comfort with myself. The nicest part is
that while I may not be well-acquainted with my
new behavior yet, it feels very comfortable, and I
no longer have to practice my eating disorders to
cover up my feelings.
ONE DAY AT A TIME ...
My eyes are opened by the program to the truth of what is and the feelings that are.