~ SERVICE ~
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The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
Albert Schweitzer
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In my first few 12 step meetings, I was
so angry. On one hand, I didn't think I
needed to be there, although deep
inside, I knew I did. People were nice
enough, greeted me, made me feel
welcome, but I kept myself apart with my
anger. I was angry that there seemed to
be a small core group of members who
attended weekly and obviously knew each
other well. I didn't think they'd let me
in their inner group; I didn't get
invited.
Next, I tried to get the program without
working the Steps. That inner group
talked about the Steps all the time. I'd
show them how good I was; I'd get the
program, get the recovery they'd gotten,
by taking a shorter route. The Steps
were for dummies, and I wasn't dumb. I
quickly found out the Steps are the only
way to get the 12 step program, hence
its name.
I struggled for a long time. Then I
started giving service to my group. It
started off by simply straightening up
the room because I always got there
early. I asked for a key so I could put
out the books. I started greeting
newcomers, who usually showed up
early. When the person who'd signed on
to do the topic didn't make it one week,
I agreed to lead the meeting.
To my shock, I was giving service. In
looking back at my first weeks in the
program, I realized that the "inner
core" of my home group had become my
very good friends. When had I been asked
in? Never. I joined when I began to give
service and became one of them, the
service-givers to the group. I learned
why they seemed to have such effortless
growth-- it came from giving
service. With service I always get back
much more than I put in.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I will remember to give of myself. I will remember that giving service in the program gives me so many gifts in return.