Recovery Meditations ~ Unconditional Love ~ One Day at a Time ~ April 18, 2011


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The ultimate lesson all of us have to

learn is unconditional love, which

includes not only others but ourselves

as well.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

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I don't think I knew what unconditional

love was before I came into the program.

After all, I had always felt that my

mother had only loved and accepted me

conditionally, and that in order for me

to receive approval and love from her, I

had to be the best at everything I

did. I had to be at the top of the

class, win prizes for ballet and in

general be a credit to her, so that she

could bask in the reflected

limelight. Perhaps that was only my

perception. But as a result, I wrote a

script for myself that, in order to be

loved, accepted and loveable, I had to

excel at everything. I became an

overachiever academically, I had to be

the best wife, best mother, best cook,

in short, the best everything. No wonder

I had to eat to cope with all this

self-inflicted pressure.

The unconditional love and acceptance I

received when I first came into these

program rooms was something I had never

experienced before. "Let us love you

until you can learn to love yourself,"

they said. This was something totally

foreign to me. How could I be loveable

when I was fat and bloated? How could

they love me when I hated myself for all

the secret eating that caused me to feel

totally miserable? But love me they did,

and that was the beginning of my

healing. At one stage fairly early in my

recovery, one of my daughters accused me

of being so busy going to meetings and

doing courses and learning to love

myself, that I was too busy to love

them. How wrong she was! It was only

when I had learned enough self-love and

approval of myself, exactly as I was,

that I was able to love all my children

fully and unconditionally.

I am now able to love and accept all my

children exactly as they are. None of

them are perfect, as I am not, but they

are special in their own right, and I

love them for who they are and not for

anything they do or don't do.


I practice being warm and accepting of

all those I love, as I accept and love

myself for being who I am today -- a

child of God.