~ LOSS ~
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"The act of giving something up is
painful. But as we negotiate the curves
and corners of our lives, we must
continually give up parts of ourselves.
The only alternative is not to travel at
all on the journey of life."
M. Scott Peck
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As I look back over my life, I can
remember many losses. Some came about by
death, some by the circumstances of
life, and others by choices I made. All
of my losses were painful, but only
three were traumatic. Whenever I gave
something up there was a period
afterwards when my life wasn’t the same
as it had been before. The amount of
pain I experienced and the length of its
duration were not contingent upon the
seeming "severity" of the loss. Death
was final, but not the most traumatic
for me. Letting go of something takes
many forms.
Though my most traumatic losses were
those I experienced at the end of a
relationship, there were other losses,
too. I lost my youth and I mourned
that. I lost a part of my life when a
decades-long career gave way to
retirement. I lost my role as mother
when my children grew up and I found
myself with an empty nest. I lost my
identity when the disease I have had for
a lifetime caused me to reach bottom
and, in the process, took the "me who
was" along with it. And I lost another
part of myself when I accepted the
reality of my marriage and let go of the
storybook dreams I once had.
My Twelve Step program has enabled me to
go through a mourning process for each
loss I experienced. I have allowed
myself to grieve and feel the
feelings. And when all this was done,
God’s grace allowed me to heal.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I will learn from those things I had to
give up ... and I will continue my
journey in serenity and peace.