~ DISLOYALTY ~
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"Health is the greatest gift,
contentment the greatest wealth,
faithfulness the best relationship."
Buddah
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I have a history of chaotic
relationships filled with destructive
drama and a lack of loyalty. For many
years, however, I believed that I was in
fact a very loyal friend - and that it
was my friends who were disloyal to me.
I was an avid -- even rabid --
people-pleaser. I drove myself crazy
trying to figure out what people wanted
and how I could best provide that for
them. Because I thought I knew what was
best for everybody, I failed to truly
listen to the people in my
life. Instead, I tried to impose my will
upon them...then I wondered why they
didn’t appreciate all of my efforts on
"their". When they inevitably became
frustrated with me, I was wounded by
what I perceived to be their lack of
loyalty to me.
Only recently in my recovery program
have I come to learn that my efforts at
people-pleasing were actually symptoms
of my own disloyalty. I was failing to
relate with people as they are - rather
I was relating to them as I thought they
"should be". That is perhaps the most
egregious form of disloyalty...insisting
that others be loyal to my concept of
them and myself.
Now I am taking steps to honestly listen
to people and to relate with them as
they are -- and as I truly am. I am no
longer hiding behind food. In order to
be loyal in my relationships, I must be
loyal to the 'Truth of Reality.’ Only
then can we share the joy of faithful
relationships.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I will practice listening to the people in my life and I will honor them as they are. Each day I can choose to be loyal, rather than critical or people-pleasing.