Recovery Meditations ~ Disloyalty ~ One Day At A Time ~ March 30, 2011

~ DISLOYALTY ~

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"Health is the greatest gift,

contentment the greatest wealth,

faithfulness the best relationship."


Buddah

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I have a history of chaotic

relationships filled with destructive

drama and a lack of loyalty. For many

years, however, I believed that I was in

fact a very loyal friend - and that it

was my friends who were disloyal to me.

I was an avid -- even rabid --

people-pleaser. I drove myself crazy

trying to figure out what people wanted

and how I could best provide that for

them. Because I thought I knew what was

best for everybody, I failed to truly

listen to the people in my

life. Instead, I tried to impose my will

upon them...then I wondered why they

didn’t appreciate all of my efforts on

"their". When they inevitably became

frustrated with me, I was wounded by

what I perceived to be their lack of

loyalty to me.

Only recently in my recovery program

have I come to learn that my efforts at

people-pleasing were actually symptoms

of my own disloyalty. I was failing to

relate with people as they are - rather

I was relating to them as I thought they

"should be". That is perhaps the most

egregious form of disloyalty...insisting

that others be loyal to my concept of

them and myself.

Now I am taking steps to honestly listen

to people and to relate with them as

they are -- and as I truly am. I am no

longer hiding behind food. In order to

be loyal in my relationships, I must be

loyal to the 'Truth of Reality.’ Only

then can we share the joy of faithful

relationships.


ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .


I will practice listening to the people in my life and I will honor them as they are. Each day I can choose to be loyal, rather than critical or people-pleasing.