Recovery Meditations ~ Loyalty ~ One Day At A Time ~ March 15, 2011


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"To state the facts frankly is not to

despair the future nor indict the past.

The prudent heir takes careful inventory

of his legacies and gives a faithful

accounting to those whom he owes an

obligation of trust."

- John F. Kennedy

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As is often typical of a compulsive

overeater, the more I struggled to be

loyal in my relationships with others,

God, and myself, the more I found myself

to be capable of loyalty only to food,

shame, hiding my secrets, and despairing

of any hope for recovery.

It was my shame that drove me to

ineffectual attempts at loyalty -- and

shame breeds loyalty only to shame.

My relationships were in chaos, my mind

was my enemy, and my emotions were

tumultuous. When my pain overcame my

attempts to be loyal, and my addiction

to shame led to broken relationships, I

had to finally admit that my efforts to

control my life were fruitless – and

would remain fruitless -- unless I

sought help.

When I entered recovery I feared the

honesty and transparency that loyalty to

self, others, God, and the truth would

require of me. Among others who

struggled with the same disease,

however, I found that there can be no

loyalty without taking a fearless

inventory of my life and making a

faithful accounting of my legacy. I

found that I must surrender my loyalty

to my disease, and place my loyalty in

the hands of God and in the open sharing

of my reality. Only then could I

cultivate loyalty in my relationships.


I will choose loyalty to healthy relationships with others, God, and myself -- and I will resist the temptation to be loyal to my disease.