~ PERSEVERANCE ~
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To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil on it.
Mother Teresa
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As a child I can still remember being
terribly stubborn, and would even have a
temper tantrum if I didn't want to do
something. As I grew up, the trait of
stubbornness remained, and it would be
hard to get me to budge if I had decided
I didn't want to do something. After
coming into the program, I realized that
stubbornness is actually a character
defect of mine, and whilst I am praying
to be relieved of it in its negative
form, I also know that that same
character defect in its positive form
has helped me tremendously in the
program, especially seeing my journey
has been one which has been
characterized with many slips along the
way. But one of the things that I've
never stopped doing is coming back, and
I know that it is this very character
defect of stubbornness, turned into
perseverance, that has made me keep
working at the program, even when it
would be easier to just give up. So I
have kept coming to meetings, and
working the steps and the tools even
when I was struggling, because I know
that it is only when I do that, I have a
chance of recovery.
It has been said that this is a program
of action, and so I repeat on a daily
basis the actions that have brought
recovery to thousands. Some days it is
harder than others, especially when the
willingness is not there, and on those
days my old pattern of wanting to block
out the feelings with food
resurfaces. But I also know that when I
use the tools and work the steps, I can
deal with the feelings without resorting
to food, because my Higher Power will
help me to get through the daily
struggles when I turn them over to
Him. So what I need to do on a daily
basis is to ask for help from my Higher
Power with my unmanageable life, instead
of turning to food, and even on days
where I'm struggling, I just need to
keep putting one foot in front of the
other and persevering with working the
program.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I will persevere with working the program, so that I can recover from this disease of compulsive overeating and be restored to sanity on a daily basis.