Recovery Meditations ~ Forgiveness ~ One Day at a Time ~ April 16, 2011


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Forgiving is not forgetting; it's

letting go of the hurt.

Mary McCleod Bethune

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When I first came into the program, I

was so fired up with anger and

resentment that I had no space for any

other emotions. After all, I had the

food which would anesthetize me against

any emotions I didn't want to feel. I

was angry with God for all the trauma

and losses that had happened to me in my

life. I blamed my mother for not being

the kind of mother I wanted, which was,

of course, why I ate. But the person

towards whom I felt the most anger and

resentment was my ex-husband, who never

financially supported my children,

making my financial burden and my

present husband's very heavy. What made

it worse was that he was good to the

children and they thought he was great

because they would have fun with him on

a weekend, while we had all the

financial responsibilty and resulting


But when I came to Step Eight, my

sponsor gently reminded me that I needed

to forgive the people towards whom I

felt the most anger, namely my mother

and my ex-husband. My mother had passed

away and so I had to write a long letter

to her, forgiving her for not being the

person I wanted her to be and also

making amends to her for my part in it

all. I realize now that she did the best

she knew how, just as I have done with

my children, and I have been able to

forgive her with love. When it came to

forgiving my ex-husband, I knew that I

wasn't able forgive him in person, but I

was able to write a letter to him which

I never sent. In it, I forgave him for

being the irresponsible person that he

is. It was like a weight had been

lifted from my shoulders. When my

younger daughter had her 21st birthday,

I could be there for her and not spoil

it as I had done before, and in fact, I

could be almost friendly to her father.

As a result, the relationship with all

my children has improved a hundredfold,

but more importantly, I'm a much better

person for it.


I will forgive the people who have

harmed me, let them go with love, and

entrust them to their Higher Power.