~ FREEDOM ~
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And ye shall know the truth, and the
truth shall make you free.
The Bible, Book of John
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In the past, when I was threatened by
another person's thoughts, beliefs,
actions, or desires, I simply deemed
them completely unacceptable and worked
hard to convince the other person just
how wrong they were. I cited all kinds
of religious doctrine and politically
correct ideas to try to convince the
other person why their ideas were
unacceptable.
This "convincing" was nothing more than
an attempt to control another so I
wouldn't have to face myself or any of
the things that caused me anxiety and
fear. All I succeeded in doing was
forcing others to help me lie to
myself. Of course, this also created its
own anxiety and fear, so I had to do
something to cover it up. What did I do?
I compulsively overate, I binged, I
purged, I exercised, I starved myself, I
abused laxatives, and on and on.
Today, because of my Higher Power and
the gifts of this program, I can look at
why some thoughts, feelings, beliefs and
desires threaten me. I can be gentle
with myself as I look at which of my
"boo-boo buttons" have been pushed. I
can ask myself how I've been hurt by
these ideas in the past and learn how
those "boo-boo buttons" were produced in
the first place.
Just like a wound, exposing my hurts to
the sunlight helps them heal. Bringing
them out into the light helps me see all
the truth about them--not just the
distorted parts I felt in the
darkness. I can see what my part was and
I can see what the part of others may
have been. Through working the Twelve
Steps, I can find peace with these hurts
and experience the promise of not
regretting or wanting to close the door
on the past.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I can set myself free from the darkness by looking at past hurts in the light of truth.