~ PAIN ~
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Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Kahlil Gibran
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How many of us in recovery thought we
were in pain before seeking help, only
to find out recovery itself was more
painful? I know that is how my progress
in Twelve Step recovery, especially from
compulsive eating, has
been. Fortunately, pain in recovery
doesn't break my spirit as it did before
I started working the Twelve Steps.
Now, through recovery, the walls that I
had built around my inner spirit for
protection are being slowly broken down
and moved away.
This changing and renewing of my inner
self is extremely painful at times, and
if I didn't have the tools of the
program such as sponsorship, a food
plan, working the Steps and conscious
contact with my Higher Power, there
would be no understanding born out of
the pain. Before recovery, the pain
would start to fill my inner shell with
self-pity, self-disgust, and
despair. Now when the pain comes to me,
I've slowly learned to embrace it, and
hold it close to my heart. This new pain
means that I will be shown by my Higher
Power the insight and understanding
needed for me to continue this daily
recovery process. Does this mean I am
filled with joy as I see the pain
coming? Absolutely not! This means that
I now have a power greater than myself
to shield me from pain that would break
me. After feeling the pain needed to
give me understanding, I am given
healing to continue my journey. One day
at a time... I will seek to feel and
face the pain on this journey, knowing
that understanding and healing will
follow through my Higher Power's hand.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I will seek to feel and face the pain on this journey, knowing that understanding and healing will follow through my Higher Power's hand.