~ HELPING OTHERS ~
:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~
If I can stop one heart from breaking, I
shall not live in vain If I can ease one
life the aching or cool one pain or help
one fainting Robin unto his nest again I
shall not live in vain
Emily Dickinson
:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~
Somewhere along the way I found myself
to be a caretaker. Injustices, pain,
discrimination, bullying; all these
things affected me deeply. I carried it
too far. It reached a point where I
truly believe I began taking better care
of others than I did myself. Was this
ego? Codependency? Altruism? Or was this
a guiltless way I found to deflect my
own problems, pain, injustices and
needs?
When I was doing my first 4th Step
inventory, I learned something very
important. As my sponsor read over one
"bad thing" I had done after another she
cautioned me to take a broader look at
myself. Finally, she made me do my
entire inventory over and for every 5th
character defect or offense to someone,
I was required to write something good
about myself. She explained that an
inventory is never meant to be focused
on just the bad ... but the good
also. After all, when a store takes
inventory on its products, it counts
bent cans of beans as well as the
perfect cans of beans and crushed boxes
of cereal as well as the perfect ones.
This helped me to see that my life's
purpose was not just to help others but
also to nurture me when my heart was
breaking, to make my own life good and
to have a nest for myself that was safe
and serene. After working the Steps, I
know that I'm not living my life in vain
and I still want to help others as much
as I possibly can, but not to the
detriment of myself ... and certainly
not to keep me from looking at my own
life and my own problems realistically.
ONE DAY AT A TIME...
May I help others who are less fortunate
than I find their way. And let me also
make my own nest as comfortable as it
can be.