~ OPEN MINDEDNESS ~
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Let go of your attachment to being
right, and suddenly your mind is more
open. You're able to benefit from the
unique viewpoints of others, without
being crippled by your own judgment.
Ralph Marston
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Before joining this program much of my
life was taken up with defending myself
against those who would hurl abuse. I
kept everything and everybody at arm's
length in a bid to protect my
increasingly fragile and sensitive
self-assurance. As time marched on, and
my disease became parasitical, the walls
around me grew higher and isolation drew
me inwards.
Ironically, the fortress I was building
didn’t protect me from myself and I soon
became my own worst enemy. My
self-loathing and my unceasing search
for perfection led me deeper into a
self-induced state of
depression. Keeping everybody out and
locking myself in became an exhausting
exercise.
On entering the 12 Step program I soon
realized that the fortress I had so
carefully built to protect myself
against the outside world was also
preventing any kind of light, warmth and
love from entering in.
As my journey of recovery progressed,
brick by brick the walls came down and
afforded me the nourishment I needed to
blossom and grow. In learning to accept
myself, I found that what others thought
of me paled into insignificance. I
learned that there was a wealth of
experience, strength and hope which
would help me along the journey. I
learned that I could take what I needed
and put down the remainder, without the
resentment, anger, fear or pain, which
previously would have sent me running
for cover.
One Day at a Time . . .
I aim to be willing to keep my mind
open, to accept what I need to continue
my journey, and to leave the rest.