~ HONESTY ~
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"Our lives improve only when we take
chances ~ and the first and most
difficult risk we can take is to be
honest with ourselves."
Walter Anderson
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After the initial shock and realization
that I am a compulsive overeater, it
transpired that in order to recover, I
had to get honest. This was -- and still
is -- a painful process for me, yet it
is an essential step towards my
recovery.
First I had to admit that I wasn't in
control of my life and that recovery
couldn't be achieved unaided. As with
most revelations, this was an
uncomfortable truth to behold. I was
also prompted, through honesty, to stop
blaming everyone else for my
unwillingness to help myself. I had to
find conviction in my actions and not
just emptiness in my words.
I conceded that I am not as perfect as I
would like to think. I make mistakes and
sometimes slip from the path of
recovery, but with honesty comes
acceptance that I am only human.
This disease would deceive me into
thinking that I am a failure, when in
fact it's my actions that have failed
me. Like a magician who performs
illusions for the crowd, this disease
would have me think I have committed
unforgivable sins.
Honesty is the key to my recovery; it
unlocks the chains, which have
imprisoned me for so long. It allows me
to recognize my weaknesses and turn them
into strengths. It turns simple
existence into life ~ and inner
conflicts into outward serenity.
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I will be honest with myself.